Everyone watches the loud signals. A missed renewal call. A terse email. A new name suddenly CC'd on a thread that used to be just the two of you. Those matter, and they're worth watching. But by the time you see them clearly, you're usually reacting, not preventing, because the actual decision was made weeks earlier in a much quieter way.

The Signal Worth Watching

The signal worth watching is smaller and easier to miss: response time, and not the client's. Yours, or rather the gap between when a client used to hear from you proactively and when they started having to reach out first.

The Rhythm of a Healthy Account

Healthy accounts have a rhythm to them. It's almost boring, in the best way, a client barely notices you checking in because it's just how things work between you and the team. You flag the thing before they have to ask about it. The PM sends the sprint update before it's overdue. That rhythm is invisible when it's working, which is exactly why it's dangerous when it breaks.

The moment that rhythm slips, even by a week, even for a defensible reason like a heavy sprint or a vacation, the client has quietly been handed the job of managing the relationship. Most people are too polite to say anything the first time this happens. They'll just start reaching out first instead of waiting to hear from you. If it keeps happening, they'll eventually stop reaching out at all, and that's the version that actually shows up as churn six months later, long after the real decision was made.

One Habit Worth Stealing

The stomach-drop before sending one of these emails never fully goes away, even after six years as a PM and several more in account management. What can change is expecting it to disappear, and letting it decide how long you wait before you hit send. The dread is just part of the job. The delay is the part that's optional.

Kim Scott's framework for this is worth holding onto: care personally, challenge directly, and don't let the first collapse into an excuse to skip the second. Cushioning bad news isn't kindness. It's usually just discomfort, dressed up as consideration.

Source: Scott, K. (2017). Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. St. Martin's Press.